AOE Saga: Alchemic Blend
by Cydra
Summary: Matt & Co. find themselves on another strange adventure when they encounter the whackiest magicians to exist in several worlds, whose mettle will be proven against a dangerous criminal. Introduces a new cast of characters with large destinies in other wor
1. Interdimmensional Idiots

AOE Saga

Alchemic Blend

Chapter 1: Interdimensional Idiots

The crew of the BiNebular had finished their two-week's vacation and had returned to the Resistance's Headquarters. It was in a secluded region of the galaxy where it would be very hard to find. Occasionally Imperial forces found it, but they were taken care of very quickly. The Headquarters had everything the troops needed for training; space hanger, VR combat training, armory, science lab, and sparing gym.

Draco and Chip had just finished their guard round and were hanging out in the brig of the BiNebular. Draco got bored with the computer games and was now fooling around with the dimensional door to the Chateau. "You should be careful with that," said Chip, "You could open it to a very dangerous dimension." Draco made a raspberry and said, "What could happen?" He then opened it onto a strange world with swirling colors and several platforms. The weird part was there were many food shops, kiddie rides, and other silly stuff. "What kind of weirdo dimension is this?" asked Draco. Suddenly PlasMorph came out of one of the shops. "PlasMorph? What are you doing here?" asked Chip. But several more PlasMorphs started coming out of the buildings along with duplicates of other people. Draco and Chip recognized Peter Griffin, Bart Simpson, Patrick Star, Billy, and several other cartoon characters that were well known for their lack of intelligence. Suddenly they started walking towards the doorway. Chip quickly grabbed some pastries they had brought with them for lunch and threw them over the heads of the duplicates. "Pie!" yelled a Billy. "Cake!" yelled a Peter Griffin. "Mmm, donuts," said a Bart Simpson. The duplicates quickly ran towards where the desserts had fallen. Chip and Draco quickly shut the door while they were all distracted. "What was that place?" asked Draco. "You know how there are some universes where smartness reigned supreme?" said Chip, "That place was the polar opposite. It's known as Dimension SMID." "SMID?" asked Draco. "Stupid Moronic Idiotic Dummies," explained Chip, "That place is filled with hundreds of duplicates of the dumbest beings known to exist. It is not a dimension to tamper with." "Okay," said Draco, "let me open one more door and then we'll get back to work." He pushed the randomizing button on the number panel near the door and opened it again, as Chip went to get more snacks.

Meanwhile in another dimension, four alchemists were working in their workplace. But these were not ordinary alchemists at all. In fact, they weren't even human. One alchemist resembled Bladebeak from 'Quest for Camelot' except he had arms like eagle's legs, eagle's wings coming out of his back, a cat's tail and legs, and two catlike ears poking out of his mantle making him a griffin instead of a chicken. Another was like a sea turtle with the head, hind legs, and tail of a calf. A quiver full of arrows was attached to her back and two launchers were on her flippers to shoot arrows. The only thing she wore was a metal cap with an arrowhead on it. The third alchemist pretty much resembled a sword with a golden dragon's head for a handle. The blade had the mark of a dragon's head breathing fire on it and was inflated to make more solid. His arms were the hilt and the wings were the scabbard split into half and mounted on the back of his shoulder blades. His tail was the belt to hang the scabbard on. The last alchemist had the body of an hourglass except the legs had separated to be four real legs and arms. The sand in the upper half had taken the form of a head with black eyes, a flat nose, and a turban fastened with an opal. There were two flip-open sundials on either side of the hourglass that had a mouth running along the part that jutted out when the sundial was flipped open. "Drat," said the griffin, "I'm out of bat wings again." "We'll go with you, Griffaxe," said the sea turtle, "we need to get some more material too. Right Ostarus?" "Right Bowturtle," said the hourglass. The three headed for the door to the supply closet. Griffaxe paused and said to the dragon/sword, "Drakesword, check the magic door. I think there's something trying to get in." "Yeah, yeah, sure," said Drakesword. Drakesword walked to the door, which had the ability to open to any place. He opened it to see what was on the other side.

Draco and Drakesword found themselves looking at each other in the face. "Is this another universe with duplicates?" they both thought. They started doing silly dragon-like antics in perfect symmetry. They thought for a second and stepped away from the doorway. Then they ran back and made a funny face. Then Drakesword disattached his wings and tail and started doing a very strange dance. "Oh, I can't do that," thought Draco and he walked out of the brig. Just then Ostarus walked back into the workplace and saw Drakesword was still dancing. "Er, Drakesword," said Ostarus. "Can't you see I'm busy Ostarus?" asked Drakesword. "Doing what?" Drakesword fully realized that Ostarus was there and said, "Uh, nothing, there's a weird duplicate dimension on the other side of the door." "Again?" said Ostarus and he walked toward the door. At around the same time, Draco had told Chip about what he saw and Chip went to investigate. Chip and Ostarus gave each other one look and said to each of their dragon-like friends and said, "You were right. That is one weird duplicate dimension." "Wait," said Ostarus, "I'm not a duplicate." "Me either," said Chip. They moved their hands close to each other and extended their pointer fingers. A spark leapt between the fingers and both of them gave a yipe and withdrew their hands. "What kind of creature are you?" asked Ostarus. "I'm a genetic experiment," said Chip, "Who and what are you?" "I am Ostarus, a sand djinn who is the Earth Member of the Walking Blades." "A sand what?" asked Draco. "In more simple terms, a genie," said Drakesword. "And who are you?" asked Chip. "I am Derrick Drakesword, Fire Member of the Walking Blades." "Are there Wind and Water members too?" asked Draco. "Sure," said Ostarus and turned towards his side yelling, "Griffaxe! Bowturtle! Get over here!" Griffaxe and Bowturtle walked over to the doorway and asked, "Who are these guys?" "I'm Draco," said Draco. "I'm Chip," said Chip. "Nice to meet you," said Bowturtle, "I am Carol Bowturtle, Water Member of the Walking Blades. And in case you're wondering what I am, I'm a Mock Turtle." "And I am Louis Griffaxe, Wind Member and leader of the Walking Blades." "What exactly are the Walking Blades?" asked Chip. "We're alchemists," said Griffaxe, "We wander through the many worlds of the multiverse, seeking out all new forms of magic. We're like magical scientists." "I thought alchemy was the search for the Philosopher's Stone," said Chip. "Been there, done that," said the Walking Blades. "Do you mind us moving to your dimension?" asked Griffaxe, "It would be easier to talk with you." "We don't mind," said Draco and Chip. "Is there a large open plain we could use?" asked Drakesword. "There's one a couple of miles from here," said Draco. "Great! Meet us there," said Ostarus and the doorway closed. Chip looked at Draco and said, "Do you think this is a good idea?" "Hopefully it is," said Draco. Suddenly the doorway opened to Dimension SMID again and a Dr. Zoidberg came out saying, "I demand anchovies." Draco grabbed a chair and pushed it against Dr. Zoidberg and said, "Back! Back, you smelly beast! Back!" Dr. Zoidberg was forced back through the doorway, which Chip closed. "We have got to get this thing fixed," said Chip.

Here's the start of a new fanfiction. In case you can't place where the SMID residents are from, Peter Griffin is from 'Family Guy', Bart Simpson is from 'The Simpsons', Patrick Star is from 'Spongebob Squarepants', Billy is from 'The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy', and Dr. Zoidberg is from Futurama. I'll try to get pictures of the Walking Blades onto as soon as I can get a scanner. Please review.


	2. Magic is what Magic does

AOE Saga

Alchemic Blend

Chapter 2: Magic is what Magic does

Draco and Chip headed out to the empty field as soon as they could. Lilo, Stitch, and Matt went with them so Draco and Chip would have reliable witnesses. "I wonder how they'll come," said Lilo. "Probably through a dimensional portal," said Chip. "Are sure these guys are 'magic'?" asked Matt. "Well it's kind of hard to explain how a griffin, a Mock Turtle, a dragon-sword, and a sand djinn could exist without magical means," said Draco. "I hope they don't bring to much luggage," said Stitch.

Suddenly a giant portal opened right above their heads. It was facing downwards, meaning that what was going to come through was to land right on top of them. The group quickly moved out of the way before something quite large landed where they standing just moments ago. They looked back and saw a huge, green Viking ship the size of a frigate in that clearing. It had the head of a dragon, with a small red goatee, purple horns that made an L-shape at the ends, and one triangular eye that had a pupil which was connected to the corners of the eyes by black lines making it look like a Y with a black spot in the middle. The sails were wing-shaped and had an emblem on them that resembled a knife with a human leg for a handle surrounded by a flame, a drop of water, a rock with a small crack in it, and a tornado. At the stern of the ship was a long draconic tail with two large flaps that slightly resemble wings in the middle, which ended in a three-fingered claw. But the most notable thing about the ship was it had four legs on sides of the body. They were long, had knees, and each ended in a foot that looked like it was made of three oar paddles that each had four claws on them. "That is the biggest boat I have ever seen," said Matt. "Why thank you," said the dragon's head. "You can talk?" asked Chip. "And walk and swim and fly," said the dragon's head, "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Carbolodornviorten, Vessel and Home of the Walking Blades. But you can call me Viort for short." "What kind of a name is that?" asked Draco. Viort glared at Draco and said, "It's giant-tongue. It means 'ever-wandering ship'." "So where are your owners?" asked Matt. Then the Walking Blades' heads popped over the side and said, "Here we are!" Stitch leaned towards Lilo and whispered, "Draco and Chip were right. They do look weird." "I heard that!" yelled Griffaxe.

Soon after that, Matt, Lilo, Stitch, Draco, and Chip were on Viort. Viort started walking around the headquarters in a leisurely way. What was fascinating was that our heroes couldn't feel any movement beneath them, like they were standing on a solid floor. But that must have been magic. "So are you guys really magic?" asked Matt. "Why certainly," said Bowturtle, "for instance, no-one can see or hear us right now." "But it could just a holographic illusion. I need some definitive proof, like change something into something else." "That would be Griffaxe's specialty," said Ostarus. Griffaxe flapped his wings and flew upwards. He stayed perfectly suspended in midair as he looked around. Then he pointed and said, "You see that foul-mouthed loud-mouth over there?" Matt looked in the direction Griffaxe was pointing and saw Chris leaning against the outside of the headquarters. "I see him," said Matt. Griffaxe muttered something under his breath and something came out of his extended claw and zapped Chris. Instantly, a donkey grazing on the grass replaced Chris. "What did you do?" asked Matt. "I turned him into the animal whose name he says most often," said Griffaxe. Then Griffaxe looked over his winged shoulder and said, "By the way, he's not a female dog. Pay up." Drakesword grumbled and tossed a gold coin at Griffaxe who pocketed it "I think you should turn him back" said Chip. "Fine," said Griffaxe and he snapped his fingers. Chris, who was seemingly confused about why he was on his hands and knees, replaced the donkey. "Ok, you guys are for real," said Matt, "does this mean you are going to move in?" "Of course not," said Bowturtle. "You have enough trouble with them already." She pointed at Stitch and Draco who were both picking their noses with their tongues. Once they realized they were being looked at, they stopped. "We'll only interfere if there is magical-based threats or extreme danger," said Ostarus. "Well, you'll find it hard to find danger around here," said Lilo.

Chris has returned to his room feeling a bit dizzy. He figured a nice long rest would help him get over his bizarre craving for thistles. He lay down on his bed and closed his eyes. He was about to fall asleep when he heard this disgusting slithering sound. He opened his eyes to see something fall on top of him. Suddenly he felt himself being covered in some gooey substance. He stumbled around his room trying to pull it off. Then he felt jolts go through his brain and he blacked out. Moments later, two greenish-gold eyes opened in the darkness of the room. They were easily seen because they had an eerie glow. Then a voice growled and said; "It's payback time."

There's another chapter for you readers. To Delta Operator, sorry about the fun I poked at Chris. But the temptation was too good to resist. Carbolodornviorten will appear with the rest of the Walking Blades on Deviantart as soon as I can get a scanner. Stay tuned for the next chapter to see how this will turn out. Please review.


	3. Mettle of the Metal

AOE Saga

Alchemic Blend

Chapter 3: The Mettle of the Metal.

When it came to suppertime, the group headed into the kitchen. "Aren't you going to get food in the cafeteria?" asked Bowturtle. "Heck no!" said Draco, "It's Leftover Night. You have any idea what leftovers are like here?" As if to answer his question, Rueben walked into the kitchen. He couldn't see the Walking Blades because they had made themselves invisible to those who haven't been introduced to them. Rueben walked over the refrigerator and opened the door. He picked up a Tupperware box and opened it up. Suddenly green tentacles with yellow spots on them came out of the box, grabbed Rueben, and pulled him in. There was lots of screaming coming out the box and then it made a sound like a raspberry and spat Rueben out the door.

"So what do we have for dinner?" asked Stitch. "Don't worry," said Griffaxe, "I can cook. Just tell me what to make." "How about mock turtle soup?" asked Matt. "Soup!" yelled Bowturtle. She started waving her flippers around rapidly. The constant movement caused the triggers on her flippers to go off and start firing arrows all over the place. Griffaxe quickly grabbed a bucket of water and threw the water over her head. The water clamed Carol down and made her stop firing arrows.

"Never mention M.T.S. in front of Bowturtle," said Drakesword. "Her species was nearly hunted to extinction because of that stuff." "Okay," said Matt, who had narrowly avoided getting full of arrow-holes, "how about shiskabobs?" "That sounds good," said Chip as his head popped up with an arrow sticking through. Lilo screamed and lost consciousness. Chip pulled of the arrow which was really an arrow-through-your-head gag and asked, "How did that get there?"

Griffaxe rapidly got several items out of the refrigerator and laid them on a large cutting board. He started chopping them all into little pieces with his beak and throwing them into a frying pan with his arm. The stream of flying vegetables and pieces of meat kept going until the pan was full. Then an audible "Whoops," came from Griffaxe and his arm landed in the frying pan. Stitch fell over backwards over his chair. "Sorry," said Griffaxe as he put his arm back on, "I got a little over-enthusiastic." "How did you do that?" asked Draco. "My body's like a jigsaw puzzle, it can be taken to pieces and put back together again." "That's a nifty charm," said Lilo. "Charm? No, this is a hex. I'm still trying to figure out how to get rid of it."

As the vegetables and meat was frying, Griffaxe gathered up all the arrows that Bowturtle shot out earlier. As soon as everything was fried to a crisp, Griffaxe kicked down on the frying pan's handle and tossed them into the air. He then used the arrows to spear them in midair. The arrows landed on everyone's plates in neat piles. "Bon appetite," said Griffaxe and he hopped into his own seat. Matt picked up his shiskabob and said, "Finally a quiet dinner without any interruptions."

Before Matt could even take a bite, several metal tentacles crashed through the floor. They grabbed everyone and threw him or her to different sides of the room. "Oh, what now?" asked Stitch. As if to answer his question, the door opened and something strode through the doorway. Matt instantly recognized the oozing purple slime and the metallic armor and called out the creature's name, "Splicer!" "Oh, you remembered me," said the Symbiote. "Aw man," said Draco, "I thought we were rid of you last time. Or at least, have to wait a while before your ugly face showed up again." "It takes a lot to destroy me, and I like to make my revenges as soon as possible. And don't think you can blow me up again. As you can see, I'm much stronger than last time." It was true. Splicer's form looked a lot more muscular and the six claws on each of his hands were much longer. But the most prominent addition to Splicer's body was his head. His eye had now become golden-green. The flattened spikes on his scalp have spread to cover most of his head, neck, and upper back and were fully extended. Splicer growled as he scanned the Walking Blades. "Having new friends isn't going to help you this time," said Splicer, "And last time was just for business, this is now personnel." With that, Splicer grabbed our heroes with his tentacles and threw them outside.

They landed in the training yard. Fortunately, no-one was hurt. "I didn't know Splicer was so strong," said Matt. "Who cares?" said Draco, "We'll just do what we always do to bad guys: kick his butt." After this, Splicer jumped into the training ground. "It won't be my butt that's going to get kicked this time," growled Splicer. He started attacking Stitch. Stitch was able to weave through the slashes, but it was obvious that he was having a difficult time. "I didn't know Splicer was that fast either," said Matt. Draco crouched and sprung like a striking cobra. Splicer smacked Draco out of the air and into a wall. Chip started charging his hands with viral energy. Splicer crouched on all fours and gave a very lion-like roar. This roar made Matt realize how Splicer was so much stronger than before. "Don't hurt him," he yelled, "He's possessing Chris!" All of the experiments paused in shock. Splicer chuckled and said, "So, you've figured it out, have you? Yes, Chris makes a wonderful host, especially if you knock him out and take over before he regains his senses. And it also turns out that his level of sanity perfectly counters my own. That means that I can control him indefinitely without losing physical or mental stability. And that makes you all obsolete." Splicer activated his shoulder-cannons and started firing at our heroes. "Wait a minute," said Matt, "Chris's mane was never that full before. How did he get to be so powerful?" "Splicer must be able to increase the potential of his host," answered Chip, "Sort of like a Galvanic Mechomorph." Splicer's tail suddenly shot out and grabbed Lilo. It then started to squeeze the life out of her. Drakesword opened his mouth and a highly-concentrated flame shot out and cut Splicer's tail in two. Splicer screamed as Lilo got away from his grasp. He turned around and demanded, "What did that?" Matt was surprised that Splicer had guessed the obvious until he realized that the Walking Blades still had their unique brand of invisibility on. Ostarus took advantage of Splicer's distraction and stomped the ground with three of his feet. Large chunks of earth came out of the ground and surrounded Splicer. Bowturtle then ducked her head inside her shell. Out of the head-hole, there came a roaring wave of water that turned the earth into mud. Griffaxe then made the wind dry up the mud and imprison Splicer.

But the mud wouldn't hold Splicer for long. "Is there another way we can beat him without torching Chris?" asked Lilo. "Well," said Matt, "Symbiotes are weak against very high-frequency sound, or in other words, sonic attacks." "Well why didn't you say so?" asked Griffaxe, "Everyone cover your ears." As soon as everyone else's ears were covered, Griffaxe started sucking in air and filling his lungs. Just when Splicer had managed to break free of his prison, Griffaxe emptied his lungs in a long, piercing shriek. Now among magical creatures, harpies have the shrillest voices and giants have the loudest. But when it comes to a combination of pitch and volume, nothing beats a griffin. Everyone felt the shriek reverberate through their finger bones and into their skulls. It was so high, that Chip's eye and Ostarus's glass shattered. Splicer was faring the worse of them. He grabbed at his head and screamed, but his scream was drowned out by Griffaxe. Slowly, the armor on his body started to fade into his slime, which was dripping off. Then with an extra-loud shriek from Griffaxe, Splicer toppled over unconscious. All the armor melted into slime and all the slime melted off of Chris's body. "Chip," yelled Draco, "Put that slime into a capture container." "I can't see a single thing," said Chip loudly. Ostarus, who had used his magic to repair his hourglass, used it to put Chip's eye back together. "Thank you," said Chip and he quickly put the puddle that was Splicer into a capture container. "Now what do we do with it?" asked Bowturtle. "I know what we can do," said Matt. He put the capture container in one of the defense cannons and pointed it upwards. "Blastoff!" yelled Matt and pulled the trigger. Splicer's capture container rocketed upwards. It kept going until it left the atmosphere and drifted out into space.

Meanwhile, Chris had regained consciousness. "What's going on? Where am I? And why do I have this killer headache?" "You got into a drinking contest," said Matt. "Did I lose?" asked Chris. "Worse, you won." "Well I need to sleep off this hangover," said Chris getting up. He took one look at the Walking Blades and said, "Maybe a nap will get rid of these hallucinations too." He walked off to his room, holding his head in his hands. "Odd," said Ostarus, "He shouldn't have been able to see us. Perhaps there's more to Chris than meets the eye." "Well I don't know about you guys," said Drakesword, "but I'm heading back to Viort. Good night." Drakesword vanished in a flash of fire. "Yeah, bed does sound good," said Griffaxe slightly huskily, and he vanished in a puff of wind. "How are you guys going to get back?" asked Lilo. "Don't worry," said Bowturtle, "We have our own transportation." She sprayed some water on the ground and made a puddle. She cast a spell on it that made it glow slightly. She and Ostarus jumped into the puddle and they sank in without a sound. Then the puddle closed up behind them. The others decided that they should get to bed too. As they were heading to their rooms, Lilo asked Stitch, "Is Splicer gone for good this time?" "You're asking the wrong guy," said Stitch, "I thought he was gone for good the last time."

There's another chapter. Don't think that this story is over. The last chapter will be coming soon. Please review.


	4. Epilogue

AOE Saga

Alchemic Blend

Chapter 4: Epilogue

Splicer's container floated through space for a week before someone found it. Unfortunately, that someone was an Imperial ship captained by Captain Dante. The crew on the bridge scanned the container. "So what do we have here?" asked Dante. "Scanners indicate that this container contains a sentient alien life-form. His personality is composed of ½ insanity, 1/3 evil, and 1/6 other," said one of the crewmembers. "How useful could it be to us?" asked Dante. "Its potential is broad, but it would never cooperate with us." Dante for a while and then said, "Send it to Johnson."

Splicer was put inside an indestructible holding-chamber in the lab part of the ship. He slammed his form against the wall several times but he couldn't get out. Finally a door opened and Dr. Johnson stepped through. "Ah, the infamous Spicer," said Johnson, "I've heard so much about Symbiotes but I've never had the pleasure of studying one. Then Silvia and NegaMorph come back with tales of a Symbiote that merged itself with nano-technology. I hoped I would get to meet you myself but I thought I'd never get the chance. But it seems fate had other plans." "Yammer all you want scientist," said Splicer, "You'll never get me to agree to anything." "You're right," said Johnson, "Words can't do as much as action." He calmly lifted his hand and snapped his fingers. The shadows in the room suddenly jumped toward Johnson's side. They all merged to form a shapeless shadow with an N-shaped mouth. Then the mouth opened and a creature wearing a black trench coat and fedora emerged. "NegaMorph," said Johnson, "show our guest one of the main reason he should join with us." NegaMorph grinned and let his coat and hat dissipate back into the shadow it was made from and exposed his true form. Splicer blinked and said, "You're going to have to better than that. I've seen bacteria more spine-tingling than that." "Hmm," said Johnson, "Stern stuff for being made out of jelly." He looked at NegaMorph and said, "I guess you'll have to show him 'N,'" and he turned around. "Show me in where?" asked Splicer mishearing Johnson. NegaMorph grabbed the inner corners of his N-shaped mouth and peeled it wide open. The shadow-like dimension that was revealed to Splicer was so terrifying and so incomprehensible, that for the mental and cardial health of my readers I will not describe it. Needless to say, when NegaMorph finally closed his mouth, Splicer was traumatized. Weakly, Splicer asked, "Where do I sign up?" Johnson smiled and said to NegaMorph, "Before I forget, Dante wanted to talk to you about something. You can go on. I'll take care of Splicer." NegaMorph nodded and went out the door. When he left, Johnson handed Splicer a piece of paper on a clipboard and said, "Welcome to the Hamsterviel Empire."

NegaMorph walked down the hallway with Dante. "I don't like the idea of working alongside that Symbiote. It feels like the Empire's hiring any villain now a-days." "Well only the good ones. Some villains are so awful that they're barely evil and are more like nuisances." "Like you?" asked NegaMorph. "Yes, like me-" Dante quickly caught on to the joke NegaMorph was trying to pull and said, "Nice try. Try that again and I'll kick you out the airlock." "Who cares," said NegaMorph, "I don't have lungs." "Anyway," said Dante grabbing a folder from inside his jacket, "Emperor Hamsterviel has given the Dark Star mercenary team permission to lay a trap for the Traveler." "What's this got to do with me?" asked NegaMorph. Dante handed NegaMorph the folder and said, "Details are inside." NegaMorph scanned the contents and said, "Do you really expect me to do this?" "Don't you hate the Traveler?" asked Dante. "Hate, yes. But the position I'll be in is pretty demeaning." "Well just turn the page," said Dante. NegaMorph looked at the next page and little $ signs lit up each of the six eyes in his head, and possibly the one on the end of his tail. "I'm in," said NegaMorph.

That's the last chapter. Keep an eye out for the sequel. It's going to be co-authored by largefish8 and me. You will not be disappointed. Please review.


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